Invitation from Great Satan
"The Obama Administration has invited Iranian officials to Independence Day parties on July 4."
Associated Press, June 3, 2009
In the spirit of public service, the Glazerbeam has prepared an invitation text that the State Department is welcome to use for this purpose:
As the Secretary of State of the nation your leaders have nicknamed "The Great Satan", it is my honor and pleasure to invite you to our Independence Day celebration at our embassy on July 4. We will be celebrating our American values such as freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and equality under law, which of course the Islamic Republic shares.
We would invite you to our embassy in Tehran, but it has been closed since your fellow citizens seized it in November of 1979 and held our diplomatic staff hostage for about 444 days. Since it has been nearly thirty years since Iranians have visited an American embassy, I want to inform you about some new policies designed to make your visit more safe and enjoyable:
1. Use the front gate; it will not be necessary to climb over the wall this time.
2. Since we are not planning to play Blind Man's Bluff or Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey, leave the blindfolds at home.
3. We will provide the fireworks, do not bring your own. All parcels, robes and turbans are subject to search, so don't even dream of sneaking a small qasam, katyushka or shahab into the grounds to augment our skyrockets.
4. Since the embassy is American territory, absolutely no beheadings will be permitted on embassy property. Leave your scimitars at home.
5. In accordance with diplomatic protocol, chanting of "Margh bar Carter" (1) or "Margh bar Obama" will not be permitted during the ceremonies. "Margh bar Cheney" is OK.
We all look forward to seeing you on the Fourth. Drive carefully.
Love and Kisses,
/s/ Hillary
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) Farsi for "Death to Carter".
Associated Press, June 3, 2009
In the spirit of public service, the Glazerbeam has prepared an invitation text that the State Department is welcome to use for this purpose:
As the Secretary of State of the nation your leaders have nicknamed "The Great Satan", it is my honor and pleasure to invite you to our Independence Day celebration at our embassy on July 4. We will be celebrating our American values such as freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and equality under law, which of course the Islamic Republic shares.
We would invite you to our embassy in Tehran, but it has been closed since your fellow citizens seized it in November of 1979 and held our diplomatic staff hostage for about 444 days. Since it has been nearly thirty years since Iranians have visited an American embassy, I want to inform you about some new policies designed to make your visit more safe and enjoyable:
1. Use the front gate; it will not be necessary to climb over the wall this time.
2. Since we are not planning to play Blind Man's Bluff or Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey, leave the blindfolds at home.
3. We will provide the fireworks, do not bring your own. All parcels, robes and turbans are subject to search, so don't even dream of sneaking a small qasam, katyushka or shahab into the grounds to augment our skyrockets.
4. Since the embassy is American territory, absolutely no beheadings will be permitted on embassy property. Leave your scimitars at home.
5. In accordance with diplomatic protocol, chanting of "Margh bar Carter" (1) or "Margh bar Obama" will not be permitted during the ceremonies. "Margh bar Cheney" is OK.
We all look forward to seeing you on the Fourth. Drive carefully.
Love and Kisses,
/s/ Hillary
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) Farsi for "Death to Carter".
Labels: Iran
posted by Gerald S Glazer at 10:24 AM
29 Comments:
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Does Mr Glazer still support Obama?
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