Fairway Robbery
"In the second such robbery in a week, four golfers and three caddies were robbed at gunpoint Friday (July 4) at the Tripoli Country Club."
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, July 5, 2008
If you're not safe at your country club, then where are you safe?
As a resident of a northwest Milwaukee neighborhood were robberies are fairly common, I am pleased to offer the local country clubs some tips on robbery prevention and loss mitigation. Here are few ideas:
1. Throwaway wallets
The first step is for the clubs to buy a big supply of cheap wallets and stuff them with Monopoly money. Then have each golfer swap his real wallet for one of the throwaways at the manager's desk before teeing-off. If accosted by a robber, the golfers handover the throwaways. By the time the robber finds the phony cash, the golfers are safely back at the clubhouse, retrieving their real dough. (Note: this will work only once per robber.)
2. Silent alarms
One member of each foursome should carry a silent alarm that can be activated by pushing a button. With today's "On-star"-type technology, the alarm could notify the local police with the precise location of the incident, such as " Robbery on the 13th hole, Tripoli" and the cops could be on the scene before the "perp" can scram. This can be combined with the "throwaway wallet"ploy in Paragraph 1 above.
3. "Packing heat"
Since country clubs are private property, Wisconsin's concealed-carry ban does not apply, so golfers could pack shooting irons along with their other irons.
The trouble is that the robber knows he's a robber before the victim knows he's a victim. Once the robber produces his gun, its too late for the golfer to reach for his. On the other hand, if the golfer draws first, he could be charged with assault with a deadly weapon if it turns out the other guy is unarmed. This is a high-risk strategy; but if golfers were the risk-taking type, they would be out hunting with Dick Chaney instead of playing golf at a country club. (1)
If a shoot-out occurs, it would be incumbent upon the golfers to yell "Fore!" or the like to warn other golfers in the area to watch out for stray bullets.
4. Hiring uniformed armed guards.
This gambit is the most expensive, but also the most effective, since robbers will probably be deterred by the presence of a uniformed guard. The cost should be no big deal for guys who can afford country club dues. It will, however, give the clubhouse the ambience of a 24-hour inner-city convenience store. But remember that "they slew the Earl of Murray and laid him on the green, "(2) and we don't want our country-club golfers to wind up the same way.
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(1) Former Bush VP Dan Quayle never hunts with Chaney because the current VP might misunderstand the innocent greeting "Hey, Quayle!" as "Hey---quail!" with disastrous consequences.
(2) Old Scottish ballad.
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, July 5, 2008
If you're not safe at your country club, then where are you safe?
As a resident of a northwest Milwaukee neighborhood were robberies are fairly common, I am pleased to offer the local country clubs some tips on robbery prevention and loss mitigation. Here are few ideas:
1. Throwaway wallets
The first step is for the clubs to buy a big supply of cheap wallets and stuff them with Monopoly money. Then have each golfer swap his real wallet for one of the throwaways at the manager's desk before teeing-off. If accosted by a robber, the golfers handover the throwaways. By the time the robber finds the phony cash, the golfers are safely back at the clubhouse, retrieving their real dough. (Note: this will work only once per robber.)
2. Silent alarms
One member of each foursome should carry a silent alarm that can be activated by pushing a button. With today's "On-star"-type technology, the alarm could notify the local police with the precise location of the incident, such as " Robbery on the 13th hole, Tripoli" and the cops could be on the scene before the "perp" can scram. This can be combined with the "throwaway wallet"ploy in Paragraph 1 above.
3. "Packing heat"
Since country clubs are private property, Wisconsin's concealed-carry ban does not apply, so golfers could pack shooting irons along with their other irons.
The trouble is that the robber knows he's a robber before the victim knows he's a victim. Once the robber produces his gun, its too late for the golfer to reach for his. On the other hand, if the golfer draws first, he could be charged with assault with a deadly weapon if it turns out the other guy is unarmed. This is a high-risk strategy; but if golfers were the risk-taking type, they would be out hunting with Dick Chaney instead of playing golf at a country club. (1)
If a shoot-out occurs, it would be incumbent upon the golfers to yell "Fore!" or the like to warn other golfers in the area to watch out for stray bullets.
4. Hiring uniformed armed guards.
This gambit is the most expensive, but also the most effective, since robbers will probably be deterred by the presence of a uniformed guard. The cost should be no big deal for guys who can afford country club dues. It will, however, give the clubhouse the ambience of a 24-hour inner-city convenience store. But remember that "they slew the Earl of Murray and laid him on the green, "(2) and we don't want our country-club golfers to wind up the same way.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) Former Bush VP Dan Quayle never hunts with Chaney because the current VP might misunderstand the innocent greeting "Hey, Quayle!" as "Hey---quail!" with disastrous consequences.
(2) Old Scottish ballad.
Labels: country club, golf, robbery
posted by Gerald S Glazer at 11:41 AM
1 Comments:
Well I happen to be a golfer who has played on one of the courses on which a robbery occurred.
What you fail to realize is that golfers go around their course with a large bag filled with lethal devices. All they have to do is use it.
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