Glazer's Law

"If you use your energy to refute all the bunk in this world,
You will run out of energy before the world runs out of bunk."
Glazer's Law of Bunk (1)

There really was a conspiracy to kill President Lincoln, and another one to cover-up the Watergate break-in. The trouble is that for every real conspiracy there seems to be about ten or more bunk-conspiracy theories around, and there is no shortage of gullible people to believe them. Here are a few current examples:

1. Death of a Princess and an Heir
Shortly after midnight in Paris on August 31, 1997, Diana, Princess of Wales, and her friend Dodi al Fayed were killed when the car in which they were riding crashed into a pillar and a wall. Their chauffeur,Henri Paul (who was also killed), had been drinking alcoholic beverages for hours before Dodi selected him to drive the couple to his apartment; boasting that he would outrun the mob of photographers vying for pictures, Paul reportedly drove far faster than Paris speed limits.
Mohammed al Fayed, the father of Dodi, still cannot accept the simple fact that his son was the victim of a DUI crash, despite thorough investigations by both French and British police. On February 18, the senior al Fayed asserted in a London courtroom that the crash was deliberately caused by Prince Phillip and his son Prince Charles, with the help of British and French secret services as well as the CIA.(2)
The first absurdity of this conspiracy theory is that driver Henri Paul would have thrown his own life away in order to kill Diana. Unlike the suicide bombers who willing die to kill others, Mr Paul was a Frenchman with no allegiance to the British Royal Family or other ideological motive to commit this suicide-murder.
Secondly, British intelligence services do not take their orders from the Royal Family, but rather from the Ministry of Defence. If Prince Phillip had tried to misuse them to commit a crime like this, it is not credible that they would have obeyed; more likely, someone would have leaked the story to the British tabloids.
So, will anyone still believe Mr al Fayed? Probably.

2. Oswald-Ruby Plot
The same day that the story above broke, the Dallas County District Attorney released a large collection of memorabilia from the JFK assassination case. Among them was a typed dialogue between accused assassin Lee Harvey Oswald and the man who killed him, Jack Ruby. (3) The dialogue discusses the assassination as a Mafia-inspired plot.
Obviously the DA at that time, Henry Wade, placed no credence in the alleged transcript, since it was not passed on to the FBI or the Warren Commission. Although the conversation could not have taken place on the date cited in it (4), the current DA Craig Watkins commented that he did not know if the alleged conversation were real or fake. He added that the alleged dialogue will "open up debate " about a possible conspiracy to murder President Kennedy.
Actually Mr Watkins is remarkably reluctant to label the conversation an obvious hoax or proposed movie script. Even if these men really met to plot the assassination (which is very unlikely, since there is no evidence they even knew each other), why in the world would they have taped the session or had a transcript made? To make sure they would both be convicted?
Now that 44 years have passed since the crime, the numerous Kennedy conspiracy buffs seemed to be running out of steam, but the DA is right in predicting that this manuscript will revive their interest in the case.

3. Did OJ have help?
In the new book "If I Did It" by O J Simpson (5), the author claims that a mysterious man called "Charlie" (no last name given) visited him on the evening of June 12, 1994, and told him about his ex-wife Nicole "messing around with men" in the presence of their children. According the book, Charlie accompanied OJ to Nicole's condo, blocked Ron Goldman from leaving the condo sidewalk, and later disposed of the knife and the killer's bloody clothing.
The trouble with this story is that there were only one set of bloody footprints leaving the murder scene, and they were traced to Simpson's shoes. There is no physical evidence or witness account to support the claim that another man was there.
However, the knife and Simpson's bloody clothes were never found (despite extensive police searches of nearby areas) and he barely had enough time to return home and meet a limo that was scheduled to take him to the LA Airport. If someone else helped him get rid of these items, it would help explain how OJ got away with the crimes.
Meanwhile, OJ Simpson is awaiting trial for an armed robbery that took place in Las Vegas last year. Other men were definitely involved this time. The former star's book on that case just might be written in a prison cell. For a title, how about "If We Did It" ?

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(1) A euphemism for bovine excrement, also beginning with "B", which cannot be identified in a family-oriented blog like the Glazerbeam.

(2)Associated Press, Feb.19, 2008.

(3) Dallas Morning News, Feb. 19, 2008.

(4) The conversation allegedly took place at Ruby's nightclub in Dallas on an evening when Oswald was known to be with his wife in Irving, Texas.

(5) The parents of victim Ronald Goldman won a money judgment against Simpson, which was never satisfied. The author's royalties for the book were originally intended to benefit Simpson's children, but the Goldmans got a court order transferring the rights to the manuscript to them, so that the proceeds of publication could be applied to the judgment.
The ghostwriter who actually wrote the text based on Simpson's words later stated that he did not believe "Charlie" ever existed.