Read This and Win $5 million
Until now you may have read the Glazerbeam only for information and controversial opinions, but according to a new legal theory developed by New York Attorney Michael Diederich, you may also qualify to win big bucks, up to $5 million.
To qualify, you must have a job in which your employer provides you with internet access and forbids the use of the company computer for personal purposes, such as reading the Glazerbeam, which has no known use in any commercial enterprise. If you qualify, simply read the Glazerbeam at work anyway, and be sure your boss finds out. Then, when you get fired, you sue your employer for wrongful termination under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) by claiming that you are addicted to this blog. According to Diederich, you could win $5 million!
No, this is not an early April Fool's joke or Purim shtick. Atty. Diederich has filed a federal suit against IBM on behalf of client James Pacenza, who was fired "because he visited an adult chatroom for a sexual experience during work after he had been previously warned." (1) Although the Glazerbeam does not usually provide the same sensation, it has been known to engender "irrational exuberance" (Alan Greenspan's phrase, in a slightly different context) and could easily become habit-forming.
According to the suit, Mr Pacenza has suffered from post-traumatic stress (PTS) since he saw his best friend killed while they were fighting in the Vietnam War in 1969. As a result, he became a sex addict, and then an internet addict. On May 28, 2003, after visiting the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, Pacenza logged onto an "adult chatroom" during a break at work (2) as a "form of self-medication" for morbid thoughts resulting from the PTS disorder. That is when he got fired.
The plaintiff, who was 55 years old at the time and had worked form IBM for 19 years, would have been eligible for retirement within a year of his dismissal, and claims age-discrimination in addition to violation of the ADA. The suit seeks $5 million in damages, or about 77 years of pay at his $65,000 annual salary.
About ten years ago Charles Sykes published a book called "A Nation of Victims" about the increasing tendency of Americans to blame someone (parents, government, society, "the system", etc.) for their problems, including those brought on by their own actions. Sykes criticized the refusal of people to take responsibility for their choices. The case of Pacenza vs IBM is a latter day illustration of this tendency.
Although it may dishearten readers who have by now made plans for spending their own wrongful-termination settlement, I hope that the US District Court awards Pacenza nothing. Mr. Pacenza's experience in Vietnam was indeed traumatic, and I do not deny that he experienced long-term stress as a result. But the facts of the suit indicate that he was hired by IBM in 1984, 15 years after he lost his friend in Vietnam. Did he inform IBM before he was hired that he had become a sex addict as result of his wartime experience so he would have to seek sexual stimulation during working hours, perhaps using a company computer? I don't think so!
I supported the passage of ADA in 1991, but I do not believe it was ever intended to apply to this type of case. There is a big difference between a disability and a behavior problem. You don't have to like IBM (3) to I believe that the company was entirely within its rights to adopt and enforce a strict policy against misuse of company equipment on company time. None of Mr Pacenza's problems were the fault of IBM, and the company should not have to pay for them.
No, I don't own any shares of IBM. Yes, I know that this verdict would set a precedent that may put the "kibosh" on your dreams of a bonanza settlement for reading the Glazerbeam at work. Too bad, keep reading it anyway.
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(1) "Web habit is a disability, lawsuit says." Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Feb. 19, p. 3A.
(2) Mr Pacenza operated a machine that made computer chips. Operators were idle for 5-10 minutes several times per day as the machine measured the silicon wafers.
(3) IBM provided early computers to Nazi Germany, which were used inter alia to track Holocaust victims.
To qualify, you must have a job in which your employer provides you with internet access and forbids the use of the company computer for personal purposes, such as reading the Glazerbeam, which has no known use in any commercial enterprise. If you qualify, simply read the Glazerbeam at work anyway, and be sure your boss finds out. Then, when you get fired, you sue your employer for wrongful termination under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) by claiming that you are addicted to this blog. According to Diederich, you could win $5 million!
No, this is not an early April Fool's joke or Purim shtick. Atty. Diederich has filed a federal suit against IBM on behalf of client James Pacenza, who was fired "because he visited an adult chatroom for a sexual experience during work after he had been previously warned." (1) Although the Glazerbeam does not usually provide the same sensation, it has been known to engender "irrational exuberance" (Alan Greenspan's phrase, in a slightly different context) and could easily become habit-forming.
According to the suit, Mr Pacenza has suffered from post-traumatic stress (PTS) since he saw his best friend killed while they were fighting in the Vietnam War in 1969. As a result, he became a sex addict, and then an internet addict. On May 28, 2003, after visiting the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, Pacenza logged onto an "adult chatroom" during a break at work (2) as a "form of self-medication" for morbid thoughts resulting from the PTS disorder. That is when he got fired.
The plaintiff, who was 55 years old at the time and had worked form IBM for 19 years, would have been eligible for retirement within a year of his dismissal, and claims age-discrimination in addition to violation of the ADA. The suit seeks $5 million in damages, or about 77 years of pay at his $65,000 annual salary.
About ten years ago Charles Sykes published a book called "A Nation of Victims" about the increasing tendency of Americans to blame someone (parents, government, society, "the system", etc.) for their problems, including those brought on by their own actions. Sykes criticized the refusal of people to take responsibility for their choices. The case of Pacenza vs IBM is a latter day illustration of this tendency.
Although it may dishearten readers who have by now made plans for spending their own wrongful-termination settlement, I hope that the US District Court awards Pacenza nothing. Mr. Pacenza's experience in Vietnam was indeed traumatic, and I do not deny that he experienced long-term stress as a result. But the facts of the suit indicate that he was hired by IBM in 1984, 15 years after he lost his friend in Vietnam. Did he inform IBM before he was hired that he had become a sex addict as result of his wartime experience so he would have to seek sexual stimulation during working hours, perhaps using a company computer? I don't think so!
I supported the passage of ADA in 1991, but I do not believe it was ever intended to apply to this type of case. There is a big difference between a disability and a behavior problem. You don't have to like IBM (3) to I believe that the company was entirely within its rights to adopt and enforce a strict policy against misuse of company equipment on company time. None of Mr Pacenza's problems were the fault of IBM, and the company should not have to pay for them.
No, I don't own any shares of IBM. Yes, I know that this verdict would set a precedent that may put the "kibosh" on your dreams of a bonanza settlement for reading the Glazerbeam at work. Too bad, keep reading it anyway.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) "Web habit is a disability, lawsuit says." Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Feb. 19, p. 3A.
(2) Mr Pacenza operated a machine that made computer chips. Operators were idle for 5-10 minutes several times per day as the machine measured the silicon wafers.
(3) IBM provided early computers to Nazi Germany, which were used inter alia to track Holocaust victims.
posted by Gerald S Glazer at 10:25 AM
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